just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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