And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
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HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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