are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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