did you get engaged???
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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