could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
