i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
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I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
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You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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