Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
