Having a random hookup so left but love u
zippers are such a cool invention
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
