I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
