i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
