I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize