I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize