The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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