Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
