he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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