Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
