We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
