Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
