he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
