Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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