so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
