Yo dont text me then not text me
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
