I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
