quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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