I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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