he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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