Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize