He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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