How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
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