"it" just moved
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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