Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
