Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
