This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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