I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
