My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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