Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize