That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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