I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
