It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
