farters have to be the big spoon...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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