Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
