So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
