I should be sponsored by Trojan
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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