I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
