I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
