i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You took a bar mat shot.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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