At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
