hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
