yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
