what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize