I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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