Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
