this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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