never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
