He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
