i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
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some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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