I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
